I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
