It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Randomize