so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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