So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
