Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
A+ Viking dick
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
