I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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