I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
