Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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