There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wish you could order shots online.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
