The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize