HIV tests are more positive than that guy
we have pet lesbian snakes
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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