i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
