So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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