He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
