I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You're a waste of cheezeits
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize