You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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