yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Quick, to the slutcave!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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