So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
