he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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