It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just cropdusted the office
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize