Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Randomize
