Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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