her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
