She announced her abortion via fbk
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
