Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
