FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
then he tried to convert me to islam
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
