I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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