Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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