Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
3pm strippers are depressing
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
