we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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