so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
In America we eat man semen.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
