you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
