The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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