the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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