i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
