In the future we'll all be gay
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
