If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize