yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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