Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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