and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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