every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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