you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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