i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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