I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
