Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
