Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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