So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My ATM looks so different sober.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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