I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
