i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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