U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
