Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize