The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
