around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
