My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you didnt know i had herpes?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
