you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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