She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize