Sponge bath it is.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
