so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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