I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
