so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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