drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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