I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
