I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
