Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
