Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
