I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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