Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
