I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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