i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
