if you like me you must not know who I am
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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