He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
