At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
