wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
this will be a night to untag.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
