every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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