It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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