it wasn't lemon gatorade
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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