47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
