i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
